and time passes on...

Often times we go through life not really noticing our little blessings.  You know the simple things.

Babies laughing
Husband/wife smiling
Snuggling on the couch
Cooking with your husband/wife
Toddler napping
Happy in life (that doesn't mean you have everything you want...just what you need)
Car starts when you want it too
Redbox (lol)

That's a short list and certainly we all appreciate different things.  For me lately I've really been reminded how much I have to be grateful for in my life.  First and foremost, my marriage.  Some people don't have it as easy as I do.  Don't get me wrong, we work at our marriage all the time and fortunately BOTH of us try really hard to make sure it is a priority and a joy.  That being said, I have a husband who is amazing and wonderful.  He doesn't sweat the small stuff and I'm learning to be better at that because of him. 

I've noticed as a worrier myself, that I can actually make myself sick with worry.  That doesn't really happen to Jake...and it sure seems like a nice way to live life!  I think as human beings we have a tendency to really "live" in the sorrow, sadness, pain, darkness...whatever you want to call it.  My Dad would say "Wo is me"...lots would call it a "pity party".  We tend to focus on what we don't have, how we were short-changed, and even how we just aren't as lucky as so-and-so in life. 

Why is that? 

I offer a different solution...and mind you, I don't think it's my own.  I've just come to a better understanding of this philosphy.

LIVE, like there's no tomorrow

Seriously.  When you don't have an opportunity to fix/change something you tend to accept it and move on.  AND you work harder to be around people and things you enjoy, you pay more attention to what and who those things and people are and you APPRECIATE them!

Lots of people say marriage is 50/50.  I totally disagree!  Marriage is 100/100.  If I am putting 100% of my energy/efforts into meeting the needs of my spouse and to creating a comfortable and happy environment and my spouse is doing the same....BOTH our needs are met and we are happy and comfortable.  I like the sound of that!  (now I can't control if we have a screaming toddler some of the time...so I have to be reasonable).

And here's another thing I read that really struck me:

"Spend your time getting to know your spouse NOT trying to change them."

WHAT...?  I know totally profound right!?!  It kind of goes hand in hand with that saying "accept the things you cannot change....yada yada yada".  I've been blessed to have learned a bit from my previous long relationships prior to my marriage.  Hard times, poor decisions, sad times and did I mention POOR DECISIONS?  However, I've learned to really try to embrace the things that I've been through/put myself through.  I wouldn't function in a relationship now if I hadn't figured out how I was not functioning in my previous relationships.  Of course this is an ongoing journey..."such is life" :)

What I hope for my life is that time doesn't just pass on.  I hope it's marked with lots and lots of memories and good times and that none of it is wasted (or at least very little) wallowing in self pity for the things I can't control especially. 

Sometimes we need to just take a moment and "live" in our pain, whatever it may be, and I'm a believer in letting yourself feel....for a moment.  Then pick yourself up or let someone help you up and LIVE, really live.

Because if there is one thing we truly cannot control it's that....time passes on.